


Snape & Potter Sitting In A Tree...

by Doctor_Who_Cares



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, general oocness, general silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Who_Cares/pseuds/Doctor_Who_Cares
Summary: Snape & Potter sitting in a tree, A. R. G. U. I. N. G.





	Snape & Potter Sitting In A Tree...

"Potter? What on earth are you doing in that tree? Get down here right _now_!"

"I can't, Professor Snape."

"If you know what's good for you you will get down right this instant!"

"Professor, I..." Harry _tried_ to tell him he'd been stuck in the tree for over four hours.

"You will get down or I _will_ come up."

"I _can't_!" Harry tried to explain again futilely.

"You leave me no choice." Severus rolled his sleeves up, reaching up to get a hold of the lowest branch to pull himself up. Ready to pull Harry out of the tree.

Once Snape had got to Harry's level he looked down, instantly gripping the tree tighter. “Bloody hell that's a long way down.”

"I told y..." Harry began, stopping as soon as he saw Snape glare.

"How're we gonna get down?"

"The answer is simple enough."

"What?"

"I'll push you down and you can go get help."

" _What_?! You are _not_ pushing me down!"

"I don't see why not... it's your fault we're up here."

"No, it's not. _I_ crashed, _you_ came up by yourself."

"You _crashed_?"

Harry looked away, going red remembering Hagrid's words ' _I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that_.' "Yes! Okay! I was flying."

Snape laughed hard, clutching the tree with on hand and his side with the other. Harry was thoroughly creeped out.

"I don't think I've ever seen you laugh before. It's creepy, can you stop?"

"I... haha... don't think... I can." He wiped a tear from his eye.

"It's not _that_ funny." Harry grumbled, Severus just gave him an ' _it really is_ ' nod, unable to stop laughing. "I didn't see it, alright?"

"No, no I'm sure it jumped in front of you last minute." He snorted. "Actually, where did your broom end up?"

"Over there somewhere." Harry said, vaguely gesturing further into the woods.

"Then we'll just accio it and ride it down."

"Already tried that." Harry groaned, lifting half a broom and pointing to a tree that had apparently been between the broom and himself as there was a large hole in the trunk of it. He smirked at the way Snape’s face fell, despite the fact that he himself was still no closer to getting down either. "I know you think I'm an idiot but I tried that even before the first hour."

"How long have you _been_ here?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

' _Why do I keep saying this this stuff?_ ' "Only..." He trailed off mumbling.

"What?"

"FIVE HOURS! Okay? Five hours."

"Why didn't you call for help?"

"I'm _stuck_ in a _tree_. Are _you_ going to call for help?"

"Good point. What were you going to do? Just stay here for the rest of your life?"

" _Yes_. This is my home now."

"You're being dramatic, you’re just like your father."

"Why? Did _he_ get stuck in a lot of trees?"

An awkward silence settled between them. After a few minutes Harry noticed Snape side eyeing him every few seconds, but whenever he looked at him Snape looked away. Finally Harry had had enough.

" _What_?!"

"What exactly were you _doing_ here for five hours?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Why Quirrel had an _iguana_ in the Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson when I got the seeker position. Why do we lock things when we learn how to unlock them _literally_ in first year? Why did Draco not go to _you_ when he caught us outside instead of going to McGonagall who didn’t like him? How did Fred and George not notice Ron was sleeping with a grown man every night when they'd have seen him on the map? And they'd have seen the same name with Percy. What did they think? That he was working his way through the family? Were they offended that he'd skipped them? If they did notice why'd they never mention it?"

"So basically you spent five hours thinking about complete nonsens..."

"Severus, is that you?" Snape closed his eyes, he didn't need to look down - both he and Harry could recognise that Scottish brogue anywhere. "Why in Merlin’s name are you up _there_?" Minerva exclaimed, quite alarmed to find Severus - who when the last she saw him seemed so sane - sat up in a tree.

"My kite got stuck."

" _Really_?"

" _No_ , of course not I followed Potter up here because the dolt couldn't get down." Her eyes moved to Harry who gave an awkward wave.

"And?"

"It was higher than he expected." Harry answered, nearly laughing but Snape looked ready to lunge at him and that was bad at the best of times, but when several feet above the ground was much worse.

"Well I think you'd better get down, you both have afternoon classes to teach shortly. Especially _you_ Professor Potter - I don't think it's wise to leave the Griffindor and Slytherin fourth years alone for extended periods of time."

"That's easy to say..." Snape was cut off by Harry sighing and starting his way down the tree. " _Really_ Potter?"

Harry looked up. "It's amazing what you can do when the Headmistress is looking at you like that."

"Oh for..."

" _SEVERUS_!" McGonagall barked from below.

"Coming!"


End file.
